Living In The Hard

Confession time: the Commandment that I struggle the most with is # 10: “Thou shall not covet”.

No, I am not talking about wanting material items that others might have, but at times I do find myself struggling with envy when I compare the responsibility of caring for Micah with my peers who do not have the daily challenge of caring for a family member with Autism. Keeping Micah safe and appropriately occupied requires vigilance every waking moment as his actions can quickly endanger himself in all sorts of unexpected ways. An evening out or weekend away takes careful planning: “spur of the moment” and autism don’t co-exist well if at all for us. Sometimes what I view as the ease and freedom of other peoples’ lives pulls me down ugly envy trails, until I come up against the reality that my life challenge is not so hard compared to others who endure hard, truly tragic situations.

I recently finished reading a book by Senator Bob Giuda called “On Eagles Wings”. The book details the Giuda family’s experience since Bob’s wife Christine suffered an aneurysm in January 2017. Christine survived the aneurysm but remains in a vegetative state to date. The book chronicles with gut wrenching detail the hard journey this wonderful family has been on. I ordered a copy of the book when I learned of it as I was blessed to know Christine before she was stricken, thus I have a glimpse of the enormity of loss for her family. Christine was a vibrant, lovely woman who radiated kindness. I, among thousands of others, have prayed for her healing for years, wondering why God has not either brought this lovely woman back to her family, or if that is not possible, then why He has not taken her home to Him. Instead, she remains alive, but is only occasionally able to minimally communicate.

I share this family’s situation for two reasons; one to ask for your prayers for the Giuda family and two; to share that this book is a cure for putting the hard in life into perspective. The honest way Bob shares his faith inspires me and I am sure many others to dig deeper into what really matters. It is a powerful love story with the ending yet to be known. It is an honest example of living with ongoing tragedy with raw grace and hard earned faith. I especially appreciate the fact that Bob does not sugarcoat his questions of why the prayers of so many have not been answered, but comes back time and time again to the reality that we have to let God be God in the hard, knowing that there is a reason why the answers have not come the way we deem best. It is a reminder that we all need to trust the ongoing journey to the One who loves us all more than we can comprehend.

Bob’s book has helped me re-route my occasional bouts of envy towards counting my blessings. It is a powerful reminder that there are lessons in the hard, and each of us can find much to be thankful for as we journey forward. The end of our stories are also yet to be written.

Jan Lessard Peightell February 21, 2023