Turning Heads

Micah has been turnings heads since he was a little boy. Sometimes for positive reasons and at other times because his behavior was way out of the norm. When he was small, people would stare as he ran away from me as quick as his little legs could move with no heed to my pleas for him to stop. I am quite sure many watching were questioning my parenting techniques. Fortunately, his tendency to bolt has decreased in the last few years, which is a blessing as he has been able to outrun me for years. He is more likely to turn heads these days when he decides to partake of inedible items when out in public; tries to remove random hairs from strangers; or starts to grind his hands into his face when bored or agitated. Depending on where we are and my state of mind, I am afraid I can make matters worse by my overreaction to his behaviors.

Often when first meeting Micah, people will tell me how handsome he is. I know I am more than a bit biased, as I totally concur, but not because he resembles me. No one would pick me out in a lineup as his mother without prior knowledge. Micah has his father’s eye, hair and complexion coloring. His height and athletic build may be partly attributed to my father, as Micah is a couple inches taller than his father was, but that seems to be the only genetic contribution from the Carter genes. Out in public, I have often noted girls and women checking him out. Recently his aide and I were discussing that this happens when she is with him as well, I shared with her how bittersweet it can be as I watch the women’s expressions change as they note that Micah’s reaction towards them might indicate interest on his part, but Autism holds him back from ” normal” friendship or interpersonal contact. It grips my heart to see their eyes quickly avert when they realize he has a disability. It is hard to determine if Micah grieves this loss as well or if he is somehow sheltered from that knowledge.

There are also ways that Micah turns heads and brings smiles to the faces of those around him. Get this guy into water and you can’t help but note the joy he experiences while he displaces copious amounts of water with his splashing. Watch his reaction to a candlelit birthday cake and you are likely to find yourself smiling. It does not matter if the cake is for someone else, Micah is happy to see the celebration candles and his reaction is catching.

As we prepare for this upcoming Thanksgiving holiday, I am reminded that we all turn heads one way or another as we journey through life. Many of us, like Micah, might not note the impact of our behaviors on those who are watching, but our actions, large and small, influence others in ways that can’t be numbered. Focusing on the candlelit moments of life helps to dispel worry about the state of the world and reminds me/us that joy is a choice. Thanks to Micah for the example to turn my focus towards the simple gifts that surround us all each day.

Wishing you a blessed Thanksgiving.

Jan Lessard Peightell November 17, 2022